Wednesday, February 22, 2012

The Land of (no) Nod

When someone has a new baby, everyone wants answers to the same question.
"How's that little one? Is he a good sleeper?"
"Are you guys getting some rest?"
"How does he do at night?" etc. etc. ad nausem.
Then it's followed by a fantastic story about how their son/daughter/niece/nephew/grandchild slept through the night at 2 weeks old and takes 3 hour naps and is only awake long enough to remind everyone how fantastically cute and smart they are. Then I smile sweetly and have to say "I'm sorry, I have to leave now" before I go all Incredible Hulk on their asses. "You're making me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."
When Tyson was born and we realized that not every child was such a screaming ball of fury, both Jason and I were afraid to complain about it. We thought people would think we loved him less if we discussed how seemingly impossible it was to take care of an infant who never slept and cried all the time. It took months before I could verbalize or write anything that didn't indicate that everything was perfect. Now we are more seasoned. Now I can say with confidence; Fuck it. This shit is hard. And here's why.
Things started out ok with Nolan. He didn't appear to be as angry as his brother so we figured that maybe we had one of those 'sleepers' that we'd heard so much about. We were wrong. Due to some cosmic joke, neither of my children all...and neither sleep through the night (and when I say they don't sleep through the night, I mean they have more stamina than a college kid on spring break). Obviously this makes everyone super fun to be around and not at all crabby. The other night they were both awake so many times my brain imploded. I'm sitting here brainless as evidence by the fact that I've been trying to write this post for 45 minutes but can't be trusted to put a coherent thought together. That and the fact that I just found our remote control in the refrigerator.
I know this post is whiny. I know I sound completely ungrateful for my children and that isn't true. I adore my children but they are even more adorable when they sleep. They are downright darling when their parents sleep.

Friday, February 10, 2012

The Running (Wo)man

I signed up for a 10K.
I haven't been running in over a year.
I could tell you all about the fact that I like being healthy and how exercise keeps helps me sleep better thus putting me in a better mood. All of these things are true but let's be honest. I have a muffin top and I'm tired of separating my shirts into the two categories of "ok" and "should only wear while standing." So I bought a new pair of running shoes and set a goal to run the Fargo Marathon 10K in May.
The other morning I snapped on my awesome and extremely stylish reflective belt started my run just before dawn. And by run I mean extremely slow jog where most people driving by would wonder why I was walking so funny. It was a long and tedious and painful run where I tried to turn around at my halfway point. This is where I fell in front of a school bus full of kids and left them wondering who was the lady who stole a crossing guard belt and flashed us an extremely white butt crack due to the slightly too small running tights. She seems fun.
After Tyson was born I ran a 5K with my mom and two of my sisters but this time I thought I needed more of a challenge.
Turns out the challenge was to find time to exercise, shower AND sleep occasionally...all whilst trying to keep my butt crack covered.