*disclaimer*- this post deals with breast feeding. Translation: dad, just look at the pictures and skip reading to avoid learning too much about your daughters boobs.
So after Tyson was born, I struggled (and by struggled, I mean constantly nursing/pumping while sitting in the same chair weeping and scaring the crap out of my husband) for 6 weeks trying to make enough milk for my hungry baby. This time, I was determined to have a different and more positive experience. I talked to lactation consultants before Nolan was born, started taking herbs, basically anything I could think of short of giving my girls a daily pep talk. Things started out great but at Nolan's 1 week appointment, we quickly learned that we were headed down the same road. His weight was down almost an entire pound and he was extremely jaundiced (24 on day 8 of life for those of you who are interested in the numbers). I was completely disheartened but still determined. So week two began with a bili blanket (a special light to help decrease jaundice) ...
and the pump. After a week of pumping my brains out around the clock, I sought help from a doctor who specializes in breast feeding problems. Ultimately, I found out that I am physically unable to breast feed and no amount of medications/herbs/interventions can change it. In layman's terms, my boobs have a tumbleweed rolling through them.
I won't lie, I was devastated. I preach the importance/enjoyment of breast feeding daily at my job and it seemed ironic that I wouldn't able to do it. Though it may seem silly to some, this is something I have to grieve. I am allowing myself to be sad but remembering that I am lucky to have a healthy baby...and lucky that we can afford the formula to feed him.
Luckily this face helps.
1 comment:
Sorry Jackson but maybe this is to help you understand that struggles that some of your patients might encounter. The good news is that you don't have to let your baby starve. He can still eat and you and Jason can share in the late night feeding.
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